On Co-Piloting

I have been blessed with plenty of inspiring conversation buddies recently. It's always fun to have randomly deep conversations just emerge out of the blue.

One friend of mine likes to get the convo going by provoking me with stereotypical statements about the differences between black and white people. At first I take it seriously and get provoked. Then I start thinking about it, and decide that he must be joking. And finally I just tune out, again annoyed, and start looking at the people passing by. I still tend to remember the good advice and thoughts he has at times.

This weekend I was talking to a new acquaintance. Apparently we met once in 2006, but since much has been going on in my life since then, I have been forgiven for not remembering him in 2011. Anyway, we started talking about co-piloting all of a sudden. Not a subject I have been very comfortable talking about for a year or so.

I have been very strongly under the impression that I will, and therefore can, pilot my life by myself until the day I die. One relationship after another seems to fade away. Some due to long distances, some because they were never meant to be and others due to all of the above.

Instead of trying to be naive and overly optimistic about finding the right co-pilot one day, I'll concentrate more on the ideas that people have about the existence and the non-existence of relationships.

With my limited life experience and exposure, I have come to the conclusion, that Finnish people are heavily reliant on finding a co-pilot. In an individualistic culture, such as Finland, people see less of their families after turning 18. Friends and family are not a part of your everyday life. But as social beings, we tend to need people around us. So, people hitch up almost as soon as they have left their parents' house.

There's a transitional period missing. We need to know how to fly a small plane before we move on to the bigger ones. Usually it's useful to know that we know how to cope by ourselves before we start relying on others. That way, when your co-pilot decides to hop out of the plane, you know how to land the plane for a fuel break by yourself.

It makes life easier to know that someone can take the lead once in a while. You both know what to do, but can share tasks, or take turns. It's not easy finding someone, who wants to fly to the same places as you. Make stop-overs in the same places as you, and share the load equally. Lucky you, if you do. Just remember how to pilot your own life, in case your co-pilot decides to go solo.